I have had multiple versions of this post written in the wee hours of the night. Thinking of what to share and what not to repeat. Of how not to make you feel bad for me and of what reaction I want at the end of the post. Then I chose to just write and not stop to look back and think.
Of the extremities that the year has been, I choose to be grateful for all the good things life let me witness. I choose to wipe away the tears and fight back my own demons and let go of things which are beyond my control. And even before I could realize, I had chosen writing to be my escape from reality which I thought was bad. But anything that keeps you sane in this insane world can never be bad. Isn’t it?
I have had resolutions that I never gave a second thought after writing them down and then resolutions that I forgot and a handful of resolutions I did manage to achieve. But for 2017, I chose to have a word for the year and work on it. Well, things have been so out of focus that I was almost tempted to choose Focus as word of the year.
As I pondered more, I got so many words, it meant so many improvements and an equal amount of hard work. I knew I was a mess, but with words that came up, I realized I was the mess. I was the root and I was the cause. That I had searched for what I seek in others and in things. How I was so focused at the ending that I forgot to live in the present. How I had convinced myself otherwise and chose to ruin good moments and tried controlling things that I had no control over. How the joy of wearing a new dress had vanished just because of a gap in the expectations and reality of life. And of how I held on to a coping method that I neglected every other help that was offered.
With 2017, I make one choice. The choice to be happy. To not fret over an argument and place my happiness at the mercy of the situation. To not give the reigns of my happiness to a person, situation or just anything for that matter. I choose to be the owner of my own happiness. To do everything that makes me happy. To live in the present and just live the moment.
Moreover embrace 2017 like a child’s tight hug with hope, love and full of joy. Remain childlike and to create moments of happiness. So my word of the year is Happiness. To more of traveling, reading, writing, music, health and to things and learnings new I am looking forward to the year that is on its way.
What are you looking forward to in the year that is standing just outside the door, ready to be welcomed?