“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind” – Bernard M. Baruch.
Time and again the people pleaser inside me springs to life and swings into full action. I don’t understand why the urge to please the other person takes over me like I am possessed by a demon. It is not about self-love. I love myself, I mean I am on my way to attain it and better than before. But I am yet to attain that level of speaking my mind. I don’t like people around me to be unhappy and disappointed and no matter what state I am in I love to make the other soul happy and at times I feel the going out of the way to bring solace to others takes a piece of me. Because while I am happy making others happy, losing people makes breaks my heart.
I have always been brutally honest. I have had a tough time living this way, especially after I began to work and slowly I feel in my route of introspection I am falling back instead of moving ahead. I mince words and not speak my mind until I feel the another person is open enough to take it in the right spirits.
I have been low on spirits due to my falling back and few other things in life. But today as I ponder over the quote by Baruch, I realize I was too afraid of losing people whom I love. The resistance I am showing towards my natural habit of brutal honesty is the reason why I am falling back. The people who love you and accept you the way you are knows what you would say and don’t mind . They may be cross with you for some time but they will always get back to you. And those who mind your nature and repel out were just a phase and were never meant to be. My honesty has earned me a lot of people and has made our bonds stronger and at the same time lost many.
I have come to believe that any relationship will sustain when you accept the other person with all their flaws , reflect on life and be who you are. Let go of all the negative baggage but never ever give up on you. Just remain who you are and you will attract the right people. The day you start bending, molding yourself to other’s needs in order to retain them, from that day on you have lost yourself.
Today I believe in this more than ever. Are you a person who is brutally honest too ? How has been your experience with this nature of yours?
And this dialogue from Grey’s Anatomy hits me like a known gust of wind. I have loved this dialogue always and today it has taken prominence.