“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.”
― Audre Lorde
I have this quote pinned up at my workplace. I read this a few months back and fell in love with it, it was probably what I needed it at that time. It is like a note to myself.
I would be lying if I said, I don’t feel lost now. There is so much to life and I don’t seem to be knowing anything or doing anything. This feeling started in early 2015, I had this sense of darkness plague me, a feeling of not knowing what to do. I had assumed that with thousands of gruelling exams, tonnes of assignments, projects over and two job offers in place, I had arrived.
But then a few months down the lane, I was so uneasy and I realised this is now what I want to do or be like the rest of my life. There were so many questions, but most of them unanswered. I wasn’t myself for long, I was detached and worried about figuring out things, I was comparing myself to others, I kept myself super busy to keep thoughts away from me. I took multiple personality tests, read like crazy, watched so many TED talks and over-exhausted myself.
Over a period of time, I learned many things about myself, improved on things I felt needed some fine tuning. Somewhere down the lane, I realised there is no such thing as figuring out, comparison ruin lives, I chose mental peace over money and most importantly we should not be worried about failure.
To all my friends in their twenty-something, it is okay to feel lost, most of us are, but it is also essential that we act on it. Try everything that makes us feel alive and throws away the lost feeling. Spend time in knowing yourself, doing new things, meeting new people, doing things that scare you and spend time with your loved ones.
This is how I keep my thoughts of feeling lost at bay. Any more piece of advice for the twenty-something?
That feeling of being lost can come up at any time, actually. But as you said, it is important to do what we love to do, make us feel alive and happy so that the feeling does not drown us. 🙂
This is a really interesting post. Thinking back (many years ago it seems) I was much the same in my 20s but thankfully there was no Facebook back then! I think that the habit of comparing ourselves to others is often compounded by social media. Personally, I try to remember that for every valley, there’s a mountain 🙂
There’s no age limit to that feeling of being lost. You can feel it even when you grow much older. But as you rightly put it, its not necessary to figure out everything. One just needs to go with the flow.
It is so heartening that the wisdom you gained after the long confusion is so spot on
Truly Yours Roma
I still feel lost in my forties 😉 just do your thing – what works for you, maynot for others n vice versa.
Leather that weathers in Pushkar