I remember being embarrassed for not answering every question in the class my professor asked me, or if I failed to answer some question a relative or someone asked. Sometimes the questions were embarrassing, mind-boggling and most of the times unnecessary. Then I used to have these moods, which varied from interested in answering every stupid question to not interested in even listening to the question.
Get together’s used to get embarrassing because some people just need to get their answers, I feel they travelled all the way to ask that silly not so important-none-of-your-business question. Till the recent past, I thought I had no option but to answer every question that was tossed to me.
When I started practising the art of responding, I realised it was okay to take my time to answer the question and also it wasn’t necessary for me to answer every question that was asked. I wasn’t giving any exam where I would be getting marks on answering. I had the choice to answer or not. My dad always told me that there were no stupid questions, but only stupid answers because we are quick to answer as if the bullet would go off if we did not answer.
These days when someone questions me on my personal life, professional life or health my answer is usually silence. I have found solace in silence, because, people don’t stop with one question. Followed by your answer is an elaborate free advice or another set of unnecessary questions. When I answer, I no longer talk like I am writing an answer for the ten mark question in social science. I keep it brief and need to know basis. I have come across better techniques of answering random, unnecessary and every category of questions except the interview questions. A post on it after I convince myself that it works well.
All in all, the twenties is a period, where you need to understand that you will not find an answer to every question you have in your life and also you aren’t obliged to answer everyone. You can choose to not answer if you don’t want to.
Sometimes questions are complicated and answers are simple but yet silence is the best solution to the questions which create unnecessary problems.
Silence is the best answer to many prying questions. People get the message to back off.
How I know how irritating that can be; though let me warn you I am quite the chatterbox and love to make conversations but I dont pry or get nosey with peeps, esp if I can sense they dont wanna talk!
Your response is good but I think you need to get a little diplomatic in this, else ppl might take you to be aloof, disinterested or worse snooty!!!
Qissa cafe in Fort Kochi
CommentRight from childhood we are asked to say ‘hello’ ‘bye’ recite a rhyme and then the same is ingrained later on to give instant reply for all questions resulting in our saying yes while many time mean to say NO, like your earlier article.
For most questions, the answer should be a pause and then perhaps a smile or blank stare especially those relating to your health, personal matters.
Thats true, every question need not be answered. Life throws a myriad of questions the answers may be beyond our understaning or may simply be complicated. Why not just keep it simple? Why not just leave them aside ?
Agree..people ask unnecessary questions sometimes. It is better to ignore. I also wrote about questions but those which are asked by kids and they are cute.
Hmm.. Questions are many times just conversation starters and at times a way to communicate with someone younger that they can talk freely. I understand that does not give anyone the right to be nosey or at times vicious. We just need to decide which ones to answer.
It’s a question of boundaries. If some things are too personal to discuss, then by all means don’t discuss them. But as Shalini says, just be being silent can give the wrong message. It’s best to respond by letting people know that you’re not OK with disclosing certain things about your personal life or whatever.
Agreed that we don’t always have to answer. I find a gap in the conversation threatening and always feel it’s up to me to fill the gap. That’s wrong! Shirley Q is Quest for Quality as you Build a Better Blog. #AtoZchallenge.
I’ve learnt pretty late in life to be silent with some people and some situations too.
Oh, I agree. I have learnt this late in life! Some questions are creepy, especially the ones involving marriage and baby planning! Phew!
Reminded me of this senior of mine who always asked me questions about myself and school which I never wanted to answer. So I avoided her on most occasions.
As an adult, there is a whole other genre of questions with personal answers which dont want to answer to every tom. A polite smile is the only answer.
Tell me about it..There are a bunch of people out there who jut love to ask unwanted questions sometimes i keep silent but sometimes i really snub them..cmon they have no business in our personal life..
Launching SIM Organics This April
*Menaka Bharathi *
Its absolutely true. People will ask questions all the time. Our society is inquisitive by nature in the best case and interfering, opinionated and judgemental in the worst case. Sometimes, silence is golden in such scenario! Lovely post. Thanks for sharing.
Have a look at the character review of this amazing woman Mary, Queen of Scots who lived to fight for her rights!
Readers of the Night