You know how well a people pleaser I am. And how I am on my way to a transformation.  But in this constant struggle of the right and wrong, the past and the future I don’t want to ruin my present. And a new lesson in itself is my struggle to say NO.

I thought it was high time and I had to make peace with this short word called NO. So I started pondering and analyzing the past. I think this all started from getting adjusted in the new schools. The constant urge to blend in the new place and  feel wanted to be led to what I am today.  To make new friends and feel accepted I would never deny anything. Shared my hard work and let others take the credit and nobody remembers today. So span of the memory of a person who helped you is that short. And I still remember the classmate in Class 3 who helped me with my homework.

It is now a habit to put others need before mine. After years of bad experiences, I am still the same because it is so difficult to be the person who has to reject. Unlearning has been the most difficult part. I began the introspection because this bad habit has been haunting me and creeping into my work. I agree with things that I am uncomfortable in doing. My perfectionist nature also plays its bit and then things go beyond control, my routine goes the downhill and I get angry at the drop of a hat. Frustration is at its peak and I don’t think straight. Mental peace goes for a toss and then I fall ill.

I have come to believe that saying no also involves good decision-making skill which I apparently have to learn. Often I am caught unaware and when I am aware this is a situation where I have to make a decision and no matter what the person says I have to say no and then the next moment I say yes and know it was the wrong decision.

But never late than before, right? Recently I started  expressing my opinion and tell people how uncomfortable I am with a decision I made previously and it takes a lot of courage to do that after you have said yes. I have started it small. I say no to my friends if I can’t meet them over the weekend because I want some me time and the same way a no slips from my mouth to my parents too when it comes to few things. Yeah hell breaks loose when I say no at home, but I got to start somewhere,right? 😉

I tell myself daily that by saying no my value doesn’t come down and I don’t need anyone’s validation about my worth, take the time to answer(extremely difficult ) and I know you love being occupied but plan well and then take up new things. I have a long way to go, but I am glad I started it in the first place.

Do you find it difficult to say NO? 

 

This being lesson 3, you can read the other lessons here:

  1. Lesson 1: What Self-Love Means To Me
  2. Lesson 2:Why I Had To Learn To Let Go

 

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